Far out Friday: 20 of the lamest sick day excuses

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One of the benefits of being self-employed is that you don’t have to fake a feeble 'pneumonia voice' to your boss on the phone whenever the surf’s up.

On the other hand, you don’t have the luxury of getting some other poor sod to do your job when you really do eat some dodgy poultry and come down with a sudden, debilitating bout of ‘chickenpox’ as a result.

Either way, employers in every industry get their fair share of ‘sick’ day excuses from people who really just want some quality time with their golf clubs. And as a recent study conducted by recruitment website CareerBuilder.com found out, those excuses can sometimes be pretty hilarious.

Below, we’ve compiled some of the more bizarre anecdotes on the list, as well as a few other numbers from various far-flung corners of the internet. All are reportedly real-life scenarios (number five was even used by someone at our own company). If you've got another example to add to the list, make sure to write it in the comment box below:

Top 20 lamest sick day excuses ever:

20. Employee's dog was having a nervous breakdown

19. Employee's dead grandmother was being exhumed for a police investigation

18. Employee was bitten by a bird

17. Employee was upset after watching The Hunger Games

16. Employee got sick from reading too much

15. Employee's hair turned orange from dying her hair at home

14. Employee dropped a tin of baked beans on his toe

13. Employee swam too fast and knocked his head on the poolside

12. Employee’s hamster died

11. Employee was hallucinating

10. Employee’s new girlfriend bit him in a ‘delicate’ place

9. Employee’s toe was trapped in the bathtub tap

8. Employee drank too much and fell asleep on a stranger’s floor: ‘I don’t know where I am’

7. Employee had a sore finger

6. Employee’s trousers split on the way to work

5. Employee electrocuted herself with a hair straightener

4. Employee’s dog ate his shoes

3. Employee's fish wasn't feeling well

2. Employee forgot he had been hired for the job

1. Employee's mum had died (this was the second time the employee had used this excuse)

  • Sharyn E on 25/10/2013 10:05:54 AM

    Hilarious- I particularly like #10 (and nearly spat a mouthful of coffee over my computer!) Thanks for brightening up my Friday!

  • j c on 2/11/2013 1:08:59 AM

    Excuse 38 yrs ago for scheduled work on a Saturday morning.

    Had to take a urine speciman every hour

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